i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
