idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
