But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
