I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
