You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
