U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
