I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
