drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
