I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
