Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
