You don't have asthma, your pregnant
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Terrible idea I love it
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
