We're facebook friends in real life
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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