Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Life without a bra equals bliss.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
