Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
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