You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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