Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
