We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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