this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Randomize
