the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
