just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
