yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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