You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
