What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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