I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
