What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
