I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize