playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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