are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
