singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i dont even know how to be here
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i think my cat just said my name.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
