I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
