She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
