Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
