Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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