how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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