who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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