Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Still dying that you shit outside
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
