He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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