I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
