Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
