Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
