Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
