She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
