He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
