I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Come on in and take your pants off
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