Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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