I got chris browned last night
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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