Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize