What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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