he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
