He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
