u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
