What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
