If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
