Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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