Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize